Discipline, only after love, is the most important thing a parent can give a child. However, discipline is not to be confused with punishment. Punishment is probably the least effective thing a parent can offer a child. Punishment only teaches children to lie, make excuses, learn ways to avoid being caught, and resent authority as well as create innumerable emotional problems. It is generally arbitrarily administered and designed to create suffering, which is not our natural state of being.

Discipline is the ability to control oneself and one’s actions. Discipline is based on a partnership with the child in a movement towards being able to express the best that is within oneself. Discipline is allowing natural consequences to occur, providing help to the child when needed to get past those natural consequences. Most deeply spiritual people have had to exercise supreme discipline in regards to their physical and mental endurance during their preparations, which causes them to draw upon their spiritual strength to bear up under their ordeals. Edgar Cayce himself was told that he developed the ability to go outside his body in order to heal his wounds.

Parents can best teach discipline when they do not fake reality. In remembering the Law of Self, we are to know the truth of our beings. We do not pretend that things are otherwise than what they are. Maslow heralded this ability in his eight characteristics of the self-actualized person:  the ability to shed defense mechanisms.

Conflict Resolution: Conflict is inevitable. It helps us to face our shortcomings, develops strength of character, and helps us define our values. What is important is that we are able to resolve conflict without verbal or emotional violence. The first step to resolving a conflict that occurs within the family is to decide just whose problem the conflict is. Too often the parents take ownership of all conflicts, attempting to settle them for their children. If the conflict is between two of the children in the family, then the problem is theirs to resolve. While the skill of resolving conflict requires initial guidance, the children will eventually be able to resolve conflicts, if indeed the situations escalate to that level, independently. Based on the Creative Conflict Resolution program and the teaching of Joseph Bruchac of the Abenaki tribe, here are the three questions that need to be asked:

1. What happened?

Each child needs to state their version of what happened. The other child cannot interrupt (a talking stick is often helpful during this as only the person who holds the stick can talk… parents cannot even interrupt!). Children soon learn that each person has a slightly, if not drastically, different version of the event!

2. What did I do to contribute to the problem?

This is probably the most difficult part for the child. Names cannot be mentioned during this part. Thus the child cannot say “He knocked down my building so I hit him.”  She hit him because she became lost in her emotions, and she needs to say it this way so that she takes responsibility for her actions. Sometimes the child needs to say simply, “I acted like a victim and let her wreck everything.”  Sometimes the child needs to say, “I teased him until he could not take it any more. I went too far.”

Being able to state honestly how she contributed to the problem goes a long ways towards shedding defense mechanisms. Defense mechanisms are a great deterrent to solving conflicts as so much time and much energy is wasted trying to get past them.

3. What I need from you to get along from this point on.

This is when the parent must relinquish all control. The children will come to terms as to how they will get along. After all, getting along is the goal… not punishment!  Sometimes a simple “sorry” suffices. Sometimes doing the other child’s chore is enough.

When the conflict is between the parent and child, the parent at this step most often wants to know how s/he will know that this will not happen again. This is a time to talk about trust and how important it is to a family being strong. This is a time to talk about how important it is that the parent can depend upon the child to keep the family strong and walking in peace. This is the time to talk about how very important it is that no one pushes another beyond what they can endure as that is not the way of love, but rather the way of being destructive.

Susan Gale, co-author of Psychic Children and Soulful Parenting, is the manager of A Place of Light in Cherry Valley, MA.  With 30+ years of professional experience working with families as a teacher, camp director and owner of a children’s center that included a pre-K through grade accredited school, she currently helps people of all ages understand, develop and control their intuitive gifts.  For more info, please visit www.placeoflight.net.

The world is beginning to comprehend the healing vibration of the Universe, which resonates within all people, places, and things. Incorporating vibration techniques can be done in a myriad of ways; simply follow your intuition as to what might work for your family.

Several of my clients whose children are considered by doctors to be on the “Autism Spectrum” report their kids as having a sensitivity and fondness for vibration in appliances, stones, and specific places on their property.  I have found it is best to let children take the lead and support what they are naturally drawn to. One child in particular collected rocks and felt comforted by them. It wasn’t until the mother took a closer look did she realize each rock had bits of quartz embedded somewhere in them. It was then easy to acknowledge her child naturally gravitated toward these healing stones. I have seen similar traits in other children with regard to shells, leaves, shapes, and colors.

My client, Don, not only uses his intuitive energy skills with his children, but also with his father, who has Alzheimer’s disease. Slowly watching his dad deteriorate in awareness and communication abilities at a nursing facility has been painful for Don. Constantly striving to remain connected, he brings in items from home, realizing the energy of certain favorite things stir a reaction from his father and even stimulate conversation about their past. A beloved religious medallion seems to provide the most comfort and healing for them both. Their shared energetic connection, called the Field of Intuitive Harmony, is there for all to explore, regardless to whether you are the parent…or the child. Don demonstrates this beautifully by tapping into the vibrations and honoring the energetic connections with items from he and his father’s life.

Remember, everything has a vibration. Your resonance with an object, person, or thing may offer you a unique opportunity to tap into Divine energy. Here are some suggestions on how you can experience good vibrations:

• Decorate yourself and your home with natural stones and crystals for their beauty and healing properties.
  • Use a quartz crystal, tuning fork, or vibrating massager to activate your own or your family’s energy centers.
  • Play with rocks! As a family, collect and track your sensitivity to certain stones. Why do you like them? How do they make you feel? Head out on a field trip to a rock museum or a local quarry.
  • Go for a walk in the woods to tap into the Earth’s energies. Dowse for water, minerals, or even caves. Make it a fun outing for the whole family.
  • When you feel resonance within your body, ask your higher self for more details and expect the answer to come to you. Resonance is often experienced as the lift in our heart, the bounce in our step or even a subtle all over vibration. It is a feeling of deep connectedness.

Deb Snyder, PhD is the author of Intuitive Parenting (Beyond Words 2010) and the creator of the HeartGlow method. She is an inspirational speaker and teacher to groups large and small and offers instruction on intuitive parenting in private sessions, classes and seminars throughout the country. FMI visit www.heartglowparenting.com